Thumbnail image for Daily Mail celebrates ‘Barely legal sexy girls getting exam results’ day

Daily Mail celebrates ‘Barely legal sexy girls getting exam results’ day

The Daily Mail is today celebrating the one day of the year where they can ask attractive eighteen-year-old girls to pose for photos without feeling at all seedy because it is A-Level results day.

Thumbnail image for Walnut Whips to be renamed Brexit Whips

Walnut Whips to be renamed Brexit Whips

Walnut Whips are to be rebranded to indicate their impoverished nut-free status.

British secret agent James Bond announced last night that he is making a return to “sort this shit out” following recent world events.

Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has defended the cost of his new £44,000 washroom, insisting that sometimes he just can’t wash the blood clean off his hands.

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Sport

Thumbnail image for Champagne popping heard at Daily Mail offices as black muslim immigrant fails to win gold

Champagne popping heard at Daily Mail offices as black muslim immigrant fails to win gold

The party at the Daily Mail offices could go on well into the night after Mo Farah failed to win the 5000m gold medal at the world championship.

Entertainment

Thumbnail image for James Bond to make a return to “deal with all this shit”

James Bond to make a return to “deal with all this shit”

British secret agent James Bond announced last night that he is making a return to “sort this shit out” following recent world events.

World

Thumbnail image for Donald Trump says Rebel Alliance must also take blame for violence as Death Star had all the required permits

Donald Trump says Rebel Alliance must also take blame for violence as Death Star had all the required permits

Donald Trump has insisted the Rebel Alliance must take their share of the blame for the violence in the Star Wars universe after revealing the Empire had all the necessary permits to gather at the Death Star.

Science

Thumbnail image for Lord Lawson invited onto BBC to argue that the Earth is ‘flat’

Lord Lawson invited onto BBC to argue that the Earth is ‘flat’

Former government minister Lord Lawson has been invited onto the BBC as a science expert to present the argument that the earth is flat.

Education

Thumbnail image for Daily Mail celebrates ‘Barely legal sexy girls getting exam results’ day

Daily Mail celebrates ‘Barely legal sexy girls getting exam results’ day

The Daily Mail is today celebrating the one day of the year where they can ask attractive eighteen-year-old girls to pose for photos without feeling at all seedy because it is A-Level results day.