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Thumbnail image for Theresa May Weeble wobble toy becomes instant best seller

Theresa May Weeble wobble toy becomes instant best seller

The newly-released Theresa May Weeble wobble toy, which comically flounders around in all directions after receiving a little push, is setting sales records at shops across the country.

Thumbnail image for Polite notice isn’t

Polite notice isn’t

A notice claiming to be polite has been slammed today for being really quite abrupt and short.

Producers of the bewilderingly popular theme-park-ride-based movie franchise Pirates of the Caribbean have indicated that they will be limiting the series to only “around fifty films”.

The prime minister has accidentally reversed her bicycle over a journalist’s foot yesterday.

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Sport

Thumbnail image for John Terry retires from football to focus on adultery and racism

John Terry retires from football to focus on adultery and racism

John Terry is tonight celebrating his retirement from football in order to focus on his true passions of adultery and racism.

Entertainment

Thumbnail image for Roger Moore goes undercover for the last time

Roger Moore goes undercover for the last time

Time has done what the Soviet Union, international assassins and a man with metal teeth could not, and robbed the world of Roger Moore.

Technology

Thumbnail image for Medical researchers confirm strong link between vaccines and not dying

Medical researchers confirm strong link between vaccines and not dying

There is a ‘causal link’ between the introduction of vaccines and not keeling over dead from entirely preventable causes before your fifth birthday, doctors have confirmed today.

Science

Thumbnail image for Medical researchers confirm strong link between vaccines and not dying

Medical researchers confirm strong link between vaccines and not dying

There is a ‘causal link’ between the introduction of vaccines and not keeling over dead from entirely preventable causes before your fifth birthday, doctors have confirmed today.

Education

Thumbnail image for Conservative election manifesto actually the Necronomicon

Conservative election manifesto actually the Necronomicon

An eldritch tome of unholy secrets written by an insane medieval prophet has been launched to sweep the Conservatives into government this morning.

Business

Thumbnail image for Polite notice isn’t

Polite notice isn’t

A notice claiming to be polite has been slammed today for being really quite abrupt and short.